Finding Your Corner: A Reflection on our ☕Coffee Club discussion about Community, Growth, and Connection

There's something beautifully human about how we approach new spaces. We peek in, we observe, we wait until we feel ready. And that's exactly how many of our new members describe their process of becoming a more visible member of Pain Geeks and exactly why we started the free, community-wide monthly chat The Coffee Club

Todday we opened our chat to meet a new member  and the conversation captured something essential about what makes a learning community work: the balance between evidence and experience, structure and spontaneity, knowledge and connection.

From Information to Conversation

When Pain Geeks started in 2021, it began with an ambitious pace: one paper per week and just one group discussion per month. This was intense and ultimately focused on consuming the research rather than building in connection and nurturing growth. And so we grew as community builders and something has shifted over the years, something that reflects a deeper understanding of how humans actually learn and grow.

We've moved from "you must read all these papers" to "let's read what we can and talk about it." Because here's the truth: we all know that learning doesn't happen through a single reading or one-time discussion. Real learning happens through engagement and integration, through hearing ideas from different angles, and having a safe and loving space to formulate and try out your ideas.

This shift reflects something fundamental about process-based approaches themselves. We don't learn by consuming information; we learn by engaging with it, sitting with it, letting it percolate alongside our own experiences and the voices of others in the field.

The Value of Multiple Voices

One of the most striking elements of our Super Geeks discussions and our Coffee Club chats is the reminder that our community brings together people from across professions, countries, and perspectives.  who joined us today works as an independent ACT therapist in the UK - why not connect with him via Pain Geeks if you are in this area! Our community includes psychologists, psychotherapists, physiotherapists, occupational therapists, medics, researchers, philosophers and professionals from around the world. Each bringing their unique lens to understanding pain, pain care, and the human experience of struggling with that.

There's something powerful about a physiotherapist learning from a psychologist's supervision model, or a therapist discovering new ways to think about embodied experience from someone trained in physical health. These cross-pollinations don't happen by accident, they happen when we create space for different voices to meet and mingle and when we embrace our vulnberability and show up.

The Scaffolding of Support

Working independently in healthcare can be isolating. On Pain Geeks we often speak about the challenges of working without a multidisciplinary team to consult with, having to develop expertise across domains while maintaining clear boundaries. It's a reality many of us face, especially in private practice or online work.

Independance shouldn’t mean isolation

This is where  and I (Laura Rathbone) feel that community is not just nice to have, but essential. Whether it'syour profession-specific peer supervision groups, or the more informal connections that form through platforms like Pain Geeks, these spaces provide the scaffolding we need to stretch beyond our comfort zones safely.

Today we discussed the Portland Model of supervision (Luoma et 2017) further developed in this paper. We discussed how - with its Skills Builder, Helper, Observer, and Client roles - beautifully demonstrates how group dynamics can distribute the intensity of growth. As one person noted, "the load is getting spread around." You're not totally alone in tackling the difficult stuff, yet you're still challenged to move into that uncomfortable space where real learning happens.

Whilst we don’t use the Portland Model in our disucssions, it certainly was an interesting way of thinking about how we can explore the learning process.

The Permission to Take Your Time

Perhaps one of the most important insights from this conversation is about pacing. We've learned that onboarding into a community takes time. People need to "look around and feel comfortable and find their own little corner of the world that they like."

If you're reading this and you've been quietly observing Pain Geeks (or considering joining), know that this is exactly right. There's no rush. The community will be here when you're ready. We see you in the background, in the posts you read, the time you spend exploring different areas of the platform. And we understand that warming process, that gradual building of comfort that happens before you feel ready to engage more actively.

Because here's what we've come to understand about online engagement: just because someone isn't commenting or posting doesn't mean they're not engaging deeply. As we've discovered, you can see engagement in which posts get viewed most, which areas of the platform people spend time in. The learning is happening even in the silence.

The Unexpected Gifts

This conversation also reminded us that community offers unexpected treasures. Chris arrived that morning and casually mentioned the split between Hayes and Hoffman, between ACT and Process-Based Behavioural Therapy, information that sparked genuine curiosity and opened new avenues for exploration.

These moments of "wait, I didn't know that" or "oh, that changes my perspective" are the gold of community learning. They're the things you can't get from reading papers and blogs alone. They come from the lived experience, the stories, the history, the connections between ideas that only emerge when people with different backgrounds come together.

Why We're Here

For Christine and I, it's been nearly five years of building this space. It's not a job, it's really a labour-of-love, of time carved from clinical practice, from other commitments, from the many demands of life. It's sustained by the people who choose to become paid members, making it possible to keep the space free and accessible for others.

But more than sustainability, what keeps this going is the richness of connection. The way we can casually show up one Wednesday morning and walk away feeling invigorated, reconnected to the work, inspired to get back to the hard work of pain care, ready to go into the struggle with compassion and commitment to progressive, inclusive and evidence-informed practice.

That's the real measure of community value: not just what you learn, but how it changes what you do and how you show up in the world.

An Invitation

If you're considering joining more actively, whether that's upgrading to Super Geeks, coming to a Wednesday chat, or simply posting a question in the forums, this reflection is your permission slip.

You don't need to be the most knowledgeable person in the room. You don't need to have read everything or know all the latest research. You just need to be curious, willing to engage, and ready to find your own little corner in this community.

Because here's what we know: the person who shows up thinking "I feel a bit like an imposter" often has exactly the perspective that enriches the conversation for everyone else. Your questions matter. Your experience matters. Your voice matters.

The door is open. Come in when you're ready. We'll be here.

Laura & Christine

Want to explore Pain Geeks? Set up your free profile and dive in to learn more about our free and paid membership options, upcoming discussions, and the resources available to support your learning journey.

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References:

Luoma, J.B., Hayes, S.C. and Walser, R.D., 2017. Learning ACT: An acceptance and commitment therapy skills training manual for therapists. New Harbinger Publications

Thompson, B.L., Luoma, J.B., Terry, C.M., LeJeune, J.T., Guinther, P.M. and Robb, H., 2015. Creating a peer-led acceptance and commitment therapy consultation group: The Portland model. Journal of